Thursday, January 08, 2004

Where The Tire Meets The Road

It snowed today in Dayton. It began this afternoon at work and when I saw it I knew, in my heart of hearts. that I was in trouble. I wasn't in trouble because I would have to shovel the walk or clean off my car...no, I was in trouble because I would have to drive home.

Not long ago (December 7th, to be precise), it also snowed and I learned first hand the difficulty Ohioans have with their cars in snow, rain, sleet, high winds or any other type of weather where the sun isn't shining and driving conditions are perfect. I, unfortunately, had to be on the road that day so that I could attend a cheer competition that my cousin was taking part in. Normally, I would have passed on the deal, but it was relatively near my apartment and I wanted to get her a cheer sweatshirt for Christmas and this was the last opportunity that I had.

I live not far from Exit 2 on the interstate. I needed to get to Exit 17 or roughly 15 miles. In those 15 miles, there were not 1 or 2 or even 3 accidents. No, there were 5. Yes, you read right, there were 5 separate accidents. I travel to Chicago fairly regularly, a trip of about 340 miles and I have never, and I do mean never, seen more than 1 accident on the highway. To be fair, I don't recall ever driving to or from Dayton in the snow, but I have driven through rain that would have caused a sane person to pull over to the side of the road. Even then, I haven't seen more than 1 accident. Of course, I couldn't see more than 2 feet in front of my bumper, so I may have just missed them.

Now, I can't totally rag on Ohioans for their bad driving. I've starting to believe more and more that it is actually their lack of driving that causes most of the problems. See, I'm used to driving in Chicago where you can be on the highway at 5am on a Sunday morning and come to a dead stop because of traffic. Most people there don't need to bother with the traffic reports, it's just a constant, solid mass of vehicular steel morning, noon and night. Here, when I go to work in the morning, it's me and 8 other people on the highway. When it's really, really busy...there's 12. And that is where the true problem lies.

The lack of people on the road makes them inherently less safe. How could that be? you are probably wondering. Well, two reasons. First, without that many cars constantly driving over the same area, the water has time to freeze and become ice (alright, that may be redundant...what else would water become when it freezes? Aluminum?). Second, because they seem to do so little driving in slightly less than perfect conditions, Ohioans simply react badly.

Small multiple choice quiz....When hitting a patch of ice, what should you do? A) Slam on your brakes B) Speed up C) Maintain your current speed and direction D) Close your eyes and brace for impact. Of course, most people would say "C" and you would be correct. Unfortunately, it seems most Ohioans prefer answer "A". Yes, slamming on the brakes is an absolutely appropriate response should you wish to lock your tires on a surface where you have no traction. Nothing says "Howdy neighbor!" better than plowing into the side of someone's car.

Add to this a seemingly total disinterest in properly plowing and salting the roads - today I actually saw a salt truck spreading salt on the median - and is it any wonder that Ohio has the 8th highest highway fatality rate?

Needless to say, for all this belly-aching, the drive home was just fine - no accidents, no nothing.

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Elecia Battle admits that she lied about purchasing the winning Mega Millions lottery ticket.

CAN HE GO WITH? PLEASE?!?
Sometime next week, President Bush is going to announce plans to send astronauts to Mars and the Moon

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