As you might be able to tell from the title, I have very little to do today and I'm not enjoying it. In fact, I was so bored that I watched The Growing Pains Movie. Yes, you read right. I watched a really, really, really bad reunion movie from a really, really, really bad 80's sitcom. Well, perhaps it wasn't that bad at the time, but like the Dukes of Hazard, it just doesn't hold up once you get past the age 12. In any case, that just goes to show exactly how bored I was. And let me just say that I was shocked, Shocked I say, that Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't find time in his busy schedule to put in a guest appearance. For those of you who may not be aware, Leo's career really started to kick into high gear when he joined the cast of Growing Pains for its final two seasons as the poor, homeless kid, Luke Bower (thanks IMDb).
Need another example? Okay, I've got one for you. I bought new pillows. That's right, I drove to Bed, Bath & Beyond and bought new pillows. Sure it was nice to get out of the house, but for pillows?
Actually, I've need the pillows for awhile, I just never remembered to go and buy some. It's one of those things that only occurs to me when I'm climbing into bed and realize for the umpteenth time that there is only about a millimeter difference between putting my head on the pillow and putting it directly onto the mattress. Since I like to have my head elevated when I go to sleep, which has the incidental side affect of reducing my snoring, new pillows were definitely in order.
So I showered, got dressed and headed out to Bed, Bath & Beyond. And since I had nothing but time on my hands, I went ahead and shaved. A side benefit is that doing it today will allow me to use the snooze button one extra time tomorrow morning. Ahh, the snooze button...What a miraculous invention it is.
Found some pillows that I liked, though its really difficult to be sure in the store unless you are willing to make a complete ass of yourself by stretching out on the floor for a test snooze, for about $15 bucks each. I also needed a new mattress pad, so I grabbed one that I thought was $20 and only later realized, as I was walking to my car trying to figure out how I managed to spend $125, actually was $48 (including the 20% discount from one of the B3 coupons that I had managed to horde). Obviously, I will be returning that tomorrow. I'm not about to pay $50 bucks for a mattress pad unless it is going to give me a massage. I also picked up a knife set with block and some cutting boards, both of which I've needed for some time, but just never got around to picking up. It's not like I do a whole lot of cooking, but when I do at least now I'm prepared.
So, that's the extent of the excitement in my life at this time. Of course, it could be worse...I could have stayed home and watched the "Facts of Life Reunion Movie" which was right after the Growing Pains movie, but without Nancy McKeon who was probably too busy with her role in "The District" to make it, what was the point?
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Good To Know
This is a recent e-mail sent to all associates at my company:
Subject: Reynolds Reaffirms Commitment to Safe, Secure Workplace: No Weapons
Through online feedback from associates, a number of questions and comments have been received about the company's policy that prohibits weapons at work and also about a new Ohio law that allows people to carry concealed weapons. (Ohio's law will go into effect on April 8.) NOTE: Reynolds long has had a policy company-wide that prohibits associates from possessing any kind of weapon (e.g. guns, knives, explosives or toxic substances), or brandishing an object that could reasonably be perceived as a weapon, on leased or company property, at company sponsored events, or during any business activity. This includes carrying weapons in a company-leased vehicle at anytime, whether driven for business purposes or personal use. The policy is not new and it applies to all associates, contractors, vendors, and guests at all Reynolds facilities and events. Weapons of any kind have no place at anytime at Reynolds.
I feel so much safer now.
Subject: Reynolds Reaffirms Commitment to Safe, Secure Workplace: No Weapons
Through online feedback from associates, a number of questions and comments have been received about the company's policy that prohibits weapons at work and also about a new Ohio law that allows people to carry concealed weapons. (Ohio's law will go into effect on April 8.) NOTE: Reynolds long has had a policy company-wide that prohibits associates from possessing any kind of weapon (e.g. guns, knives, explosives or toxic substances), or brandishing an object that could reasonably be perceived as a weapon, on leased or company property, at company sponsored events, or during any business activity. This includes carrying weapons in a company-leased vehicle at anytime, whether driven for business purposes or personal use. The policy is not new and it applies to all associates, contractors, vendors, and guests at all Reynolds facilities and events. Weapons of any kind have no place at anytime at Reynolds.
I feel so much safer now.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Oh the Humanity...
There is no way to gussy this up, so the plain hard truth will have to do...the corporation that I work for is extremely cruel. No, it isn't the pay (for what I do, I'm actually paid fairly well, but don't tell them that) or the hours or my boss. Nope, none of those. It's the friggin' vendor displays that they allow by our cafeteria.
Normally, there will be some vendor that will set-up shop to hawk their wares about twice a month. Sometimes it's one of our "preferred providers" like Nextel or Chrysler - you know people that corporate has worked some sort of discount from. More often it will be some charity that corporate supports or some small jewelery shop that makes dragonflies out of paperclips and some colored tissue paper. Or perhaps it is yet another in the endless parade of "diversity" installations. I can usually walk by all of these - I would say boothes, but that is entirely too grandiose a word for a folding table and a couple of chairs - with nary a second thought as I head to the cafeteria for my daily fix of moderately priced, moderately palatable food. Today, however, was different. What I saw today stopped me in my tracks, stare in wonder and nearly breakdown in tears. For today, the HDTV's made there way into the atrium.
Yes, that's right we have a new corporate discount partner and they were here showing off High Definition Plasma televisions. I want one...I need one...Damn it!, I deserve one. Of course, I can't possibly afford one so perhaps I should take back that statement about being paid fairly well. On my salary, if I didn't buy food, walked to and from work, never went out with friends and never visited my family, I may perhaps be able to afford on in about three years. Wait, I take that back, we receive a 17% discount on all merchandise purchased through this new discount partner so make that 30 months.
It's not for lack of trying that I still don't have a HD Plasma or LCD TV. I put it on my Christmas list, my birthday list, and I even tried to sneak it onto my mother's Sam's Club shopping list. Still, I sit my butt down virtually every night and watch a standard, 27" television. Is there no justice?!? Have I not suffered enough from not being able to see each and every single pore on Jennifer Aniston's face? Yes, I have. So please, have pity on a poor, addicted soul who's life just won't be complete until a 60" HD Plasma screen is mounted to his wall for all the world to see. If you throw in a surround sound, there's no telling what I might do.
AS IF IT COULDN'T GET WORSE
Right after coming back from the cafeteria (carefully averting my eyes so I wouldn't be tempted to run over to the HDTV display, grab one and try to make it to the door before I was tackled by security) I received another shock. One of my co-workers, who shall remain nameless, wanted to look up some information on some basketball player or whatever...it was sports related so I tuned out. In any case, another co-worker said to go to Google. Well, she is a Yahoo! fiend and doesn't use Google so had a few questions, including what is the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. I smirked and sauntered over all ready to explain what it was and give a perfect example. So there I am, standing over her desk telling her to enter "musings adulthood" and press the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, which she does.
It was not this page that came up, oh no. It was some schlock site that hasn't been updated in 2 years but featured a picture of President Bush on one of those "work inspirational" posters about integrity. After the shock, horror and the small fainting spell passed, I went back to my cube and began to see how far I've fallen in the rankings. I scanned over 30 pages of Google results and no listing for this page. I could barely keep myself from crying. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Not even Taco could have felt more devasted when he realized that his cover of "Puttin On the Ritz" was a big as he was going to get then what I felt when I found out that that I was bumped down the Google rankings...way, way, way, way down.
So now it is my mission to reclaim that top spot. I don't know how, I don't know when, and I don't know how many people will get hurt in the process, but I don't care. I want to be #1 again when you type "musings adulthood" in Google and feel lucky. And I get right on it after I've gotten an HD Plasma television.
Normally, there will be some vendor that will set-up shop to hawk their wares about twice a month. Sometimes it's one of our "preferred providers" like Nextel or Chrysler - you know people that corporate has worked some sort of discount from. More often it will be some charity that corporate supports or some small jewelery shop that makes dragonflies out of paperclips and some colored tissue paper. Or perhaps it is yet another in the endless parade of "diversity" installations. I can usually walk by all of these - I would say boothes, but that is entirely too grandiose a word for a folding table and a couple of chairs - with nary a second thought as I head to the cafeteria for my daily fix of moderately priced, moderately palatable food. Today, however, was different. What I saw today stopped me in my tracks, stare in wonder and nearly breakdown in tears. For today, the HDTV's made there way into the atrium.
Yes, that's right we have a new corporate discount partner and they were here showing off High Definition Plasma televisions. I want one...I need one...Damn it!, I deserve one. Of course, I can't possibly afford one so perhaps I should take back that statement about being paid fairly well. On my salary, if I didn't buy food, walked to and from work, never went out with friends and never visited my family, I may perhaps be able to afford on in about three years. Wait, I take that back, we receive a 17% discount on all merchandise purchased through this new discount partner so make that 30 months.
It's not for lack of trying that I still don't have a HD Plasma or LCD TV. I put it on my Christmas list, my birthday list, and I even tried to sneak it onto my mother's Sam's Club shopping list. Still, I sit my butt down virtually every night and watch a standard, 27" television. Is there no justice?!? Have I not suffered enough from not being able to see each and every single pore on Jennifer Aniston's face? Yes, I have. So please, have pity on a poor, addicted soul who's life just won't be complete until a 60" HD Plasma screen is mounted to his wall for all the world to see. If you throw in a surround sound, there's no telling what I might do.
AS IF IT COULDN'T GET WORSE
Right after coming back from the cafeteria (carefully averting my eyes so I wouldn't be tempted to run over to the HDTV display, grab one and try to make it to the door before I was tackled by security) I received another shock. One of my co-workers, who shall remain nameless, wanted to look up some information on some basketball player or whatever...it was sports related so I tuned out. In any case, another co-worker said to go to Google. Well, she is a Yahoo! fiend and doesn't use Google so had a few questions, including what is the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. I smirked and sauntered over all ready to explain what it was and give a perfect example. So there I am, standing over her desk telling her to enter "musings adulthood" and press the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, which she does.
It was not this page that came up, oh no. It was some schlock site that hasn't been updated in 2 years but featured a picture of President Bush on one of those "work inspirational" posters about integrity. After the shock, horror and the small fainting spell passed, I went back to my cube and began to see how far I've fallen in the rankings. I scanned over 30 pages of Google results and no listing for this page. I could barely keep myself from crying. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Not even Taco could have felt more devasted when he realized that his cover of "Puttin On the Ritz" was a big as he was going to get then what I felt when I found out that that I was bumped down the Google rankings...way, way, way, way down.
So now it is my mission to reclaim that top spot. I don't know how, I don't know when, and I don't know how many people will get hurt in the process, but I don't care. I want to be #1 again when you type "musings adulthood" in Google and feel lucky. And I get right on it after I've gotten an HD Plasma television.
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