I Know What I Did Last Weekend

I apologize for being so long since my last post, but honestly, I couldn't think of anything that was worth writing about. However, that changed this weekend when I went home. Before you get your hopes up that there was some grand adventure possibly including some ultra-secret chemical formula that had to be kept from enemy hands, scantily clad women and lots of impossible to believe gadgets, this ain't that kind of story. No for that, you will need to tune into Alias (Sunday 9pm Eastern). Nope, no matter how much I may wish that that were the case, it was just a simple trip to the place of my birth, the City of Big Shoulders, the Windy City, where Al Capone reigned and Geraldo Rivera shredded his credibility, the place of the stinky onion, that Butcher to the World...Chicago. Or, to be a bit more precise the western suburbs of Chicago - the far western suburbs of Chicago. I mean faaaaar western suburbs. Like the last little hiccup of a town before you run into endless fields of corn.

Now, I didn't grow up in this near perfect replica of small town, rural America (the Starbucks sort of ruins the illusion). Not I. I grew up a mere 9 miles from downtown. I could stand on anyone of the bridges that spanned the Eisenhower Expressway in my hometown and see shimmering in the near distance (is that an oxymoron?) the Sears Tower standing silent vigil over the great metropolis - poetic, huh? But never was a city kid. I am the living embodiment of the Suburban White Boy. In fact that was going to be the original name of this blog, but I decided against it since I didn't want anyone who stumbled upon by accident to be offended without first reading some of the posts and then being offended.

Anyway, my boyhood will have to wait for another post. I'm writing about my trip to Chicago today. The reason for the trip was because my neice Natalie turned 2 on Sunday. In my family, birthdays are not something to be taken lightly...there absolutely must be a celebration of some sort. Generally, this is just the family gathering at my Mom & Dad's house, but at least the birthday person gets to choose the menu and there is always a cake. Mmmmm, caaake.

FRIDAY I left work shortly after 5pm Eastern. As ever, I had intended to leave around 4pm or so, but that just never seems to work out. The drive up was fairly uneventful, Normally, I would just drive to my parent's house, but Serilian (see the link on the right) was playing and I thought that I would surprise the normal crew of friends that attend the shows. I've never heard them sound better - the venue was good, they were "on" and there was a actual sound man who could run the mix properly. Five Coronas and two Jager shots later, I was ready to go home. Oh, and just so you don't think that I was drinking and driving, they made me leave the beer at the bar. Sorry, bad joke. Actually, I generally stop drinking at the first signs of a buzz and switch to water. I've basically gotten over the need to be drunk and why suffer the consequences of a hangover if I don't have to? This isn't to say that I don't get drunk, just that it is not that common and usually when I have someplace to crash.

SATURDAY Started out as a typical morning...up at about 8 or so. Normally, I would have slept in a bit longer, what with having rolled in at about 3am, but my parents aren't big believers in suspending their normal routine just because there is a visitor, especially me. Add to that the guest bedroom is right above the kitchen and the fact that my Mom has this obsession with banging pots around first thing morning...well, you can probably see that sleeping past 8am is not really an option.

Most of Saturday morning and early afternoon were spent loitering around the house. I left and headed for the birthday bash around 2pm, since I had yet to pick up a birthday gift. Granted my niece is only 2 and a handful of dirt would amuse her for hours, but I'm not trying to impress her...it's the other guests. Admit it, in your heart of hearts you know it's not just about the giving of gifts, it's about giving the most perfect gift for the person so that everyone is jealous that they didn't come up with it. A quick trip to the Wal-mart, 5 kid vids and $40 later, I'm ready to go to my sister & brother-in-law's house.

Just as I pull up to the house, my cell rings. I take a quick look at the caller ID and see that it is my sister. Oh, this will be fun. She wants to know if I'm at Wal-mart. Nope. Are you going to Wal-mart? No. Where are you? And that's when I step into the house. Yes, I know, it was all very childish and everything, but it still amuses the hell out of me - much like toliet humor.

The party was a variation on a theme. That theme? Chaos. Most of Erika & Nathan's friends had kids right around the same time as Natalie. Six or seven kids (who can keep count) running pell-mell, screaming, crying, and playing does not a quiet evening make. In the kitchen there seemed some sort of contest amoung the adults on who could speak the loudest. I've come to the conclusion that beer in some way inhibits the hearing...why else would people who are standing less than 2 feet way need to shout? By 9pm, I was done and headed back to the new family homestead.

Alright, I think that I'm going to stop here for the night. A lot of things happened on Sunday and knowing how I write, it will probably take as much space just for that day as did for Friday & Saturday. No headlines tonight, maybe tomorrow...